simonbalderas
The Road to Buffalo
Thankfully Indigenous voices are gaining more representation in film and
television with projects like Reservation Dogs, Songs My Brothers Taught Me and
even Yalitza Aparicio’s Roma, which offered a rare view of the Indigenous
Mexican experience. Up until recently, I have always felt as though I have been
on the outside looking in. Knowing that I am a Native American, yet having
completely lost my cultural connection.
I remember watching the 3rd season of CBC’s Anne with an E with my daughter.
Indigenous characters were introduced, along with a storyline about residential
schools. This immediately struck a chord within me knowing that my grandfather
attended one of those so-called schools and came out unable to read or write. His
assimilation into American society stripped him of his Native Apache language
and culture. Such schools achieved the intentions of its creators resulting in
generations of Native American descendants, like me, who have lost their cultural
connection altogether. My grandfather ended up in California working alongside
many immigrants in migrant camps picking fruits and vegetables. He ultimately
ended up at Limoneira, a migrant camp in Santa Paula, California. My mother and
father met and married there and had eight children of their own. My mother was
raised amongst mostly Mexican immigrants and, if anything, assimilated into that
culture. When she met my Spanish father, who was residing in Santa Paula, they
married young and moved to the neighboring town of Ojai in the mid 60’s. They
had the intention of raising their family in a place with good schools and with the
hope that my siblings and I would have a better chance to achieve the American
dream that many of their peers were seeking. My father worked as a janitor at a
private school, allowing me and my siblings free tuition and a good education. My
father, who was ambitious, went to night school and eventually became a real
estate broker in Santa Paula serving the hispanic community. Six of my brothers
and sisters have the first college degrees from both sides of our families, something
that my father takes pride in.
I spent my adolescence living on the fringe of a middle class neighborhood
in the 80’s and developed an interest in film at a young age and went to film school
when I graduated high school. When I was a young child, our family had no money
to spare and if my siblings and I ever wanted anything extra, we had to pick up
odd jobs here and there. The short films and photography projects I made were
dependent on ingenuity and compromise. Little did I know that those were the
hallmarks of independent filmmaking. I never felt restricted and my parents
encouraged me to be resourceful. At first I worked within the confines of what
was available, like using simple 8mm film cameras and still cameras that I could
get second hand. If I needed money for film and developing, I would deliver
newspapers, mow lawns, go door to door washing cars, etc. I did what I needed to
do. Eventually I became a highschool photographer and had an endless supply of
film rolls and free developing. Using old cameras and makeshift equipment led me
into college where I learned to get people excited about the story we were making.
I didn’t care that I had to live for 4 years in my car in order to buy film stock and
rent gear, this was old hat to me. My brothers and sisters and I lived in a very small
house and I was just happy to have my own space and I felt cozy in my VW van. I
recall many nights sneaking into the university pool to swim laps, then stare up at
the stars dreaming of the creative projects that I was working on and ones that I
wanted to create. Honestly, film was a medium I felt compelled to work in, but
what I was most interested in was composition and storytelling. I loved
photography just as much and had already spent hundreds of hours in the darkroom
when I was in grammar school. My brother's private highschool was always open
and no one was ever in there, so I took advantage. I remember watching images
fade in on the white photo paper while swirling the pan filled with developer.
When the images appeared they came to life for me, the experience was magical
and I was the magician. I would make up stories behind these images and write. I
filled up dozens of notebooks, without any real regard to protect them in any way. I
would make them, throw them in a drawer and make some more. I just felt an inner
need to get these things out. I had the same experience with photography, I didn’t
make them for anyone. It simply was a way I entertained myself.
While in college things did get a bit more serious for me. I made two award
winning short films and by then, had an understanding about the theory and
aesthetics behind filmmaking, but most importantly that it was a business. As a
result of the success of these short films, I was fortunate to gain several job offers
and decided on a job as film editor where I edited 6 documentaries for the
Discovery Channel and A&E. I am thankful and very fortunate to have started my
career as an editor. As an editor, I came to understand that where a story is
assembled in collaboration with the director is where the most authentic elements
of storytelling emerge.
My interest in storytelling has always been an obvious factor in my life, but
little do people know that it was a compensation for the void of my own life. It’s
the part of my family history that ended when my grandfather was stripped of his
own heritage. This has had its ramifications generations down the line. Growing
up, I always knew my grandfather could not read or write. I just never knew why.
He spoke about the “Indian School” from time to time and it was an obvious
source of pain for him, so I never pressed. When my mother explained the facts of
our past to me, it sadly created a void in my own life that I have always sought to
fill. I made my first feature Little Heart in 1997 at age 26 about a young Mexican
man who was living illegally in the United States in an attempt to go to school and
fulfill his dream of becoming a doctor. Much of his story is told in correspondence
with his sister who lived with an uncle in Mexico City. I filmed in the orange and
lemon groves of Ojai and Lemonaria, a migrant camp in California, where my
parents grew up and met. After I premiered it in Santa Barbara, I didn't know how
to market the film and it never went anywhere. To this day it sits in reels on a shelf
in my office. I felt that I had failed and it hit me hard when I shelved it. At first, I
lifelessly took numerous assignments as an editor. Eventually, over the years, I
edited and directed hundreds of commercials, over 50 documentaries, produced
and directed countless industrial projects of all shapes and sizes, several narrative
shorts and features. I gained skills as a 3-D artist, gaffer, director of photography,
producer, writer and have mastered many key creative positions on a film set.
When I met my now wife, Lori Bisaccia, in my 40’s, I had emerged renewed
having just finished producing and directing a 26 episode documentary series for
PBS called “Inspiration”. I was filming a short film called Sister in a meadow in
Ojai starring two of my daughters. It was the first time since film school that I had
truly done something for the mere pleasure of creating. I was shut down
momentarily by a Ranger for filming without a permit. Luckily I knew his mom
and sister (Lori) and he reluctantly let me finish filming that day. Lori recalls,
“Simon sent me a message saying that he owed me a lunch or dinner. I was
intrigued as to why. He then told me that he was a filmmaker and was right in the
middle of filming a movie in the meadow in Ojai, with the full cast and crew, when
they were stopped by a very upset Ranger. I immediately knew he was talking
about my brother (who was in charge of the meadow).’ We lived our lives in this
small town with many of the same friends and experiences. Lori describes her
idyllic childhood as filled with happiness, make believe, travel and immersion into
different cultures due to her father’s teaching of Anthropology and Survival, “My
Father was an amazing role model to myself and many others. His support and
interest in peoples of all walks of life were passed down to me. I consider this one
of my greatest gifts from him. He had a keen, respectful and loving interest in
Native American culture. He attended and hosted Pow Wows, made arrowheads,
moccasins, and other indigenous crafts specific to the Chumash who once thrived
in what is now Ventura County.”
Meeting Lori at midlife was a blessing to me in ways that gave me both
balance and support. Previously we lived our lives with other partners, had
children, had many hard and life changing experiences, some very traumatic.
These experiences have given us important life lessons which help us to have a
multi faceted, empathetic and sympathetic way of dealing with people and
situations. When I sent Lori a rough cut of the film that I was shooting in the
meadow, before we went to lunch I didn’t realize that she agonized a bit hoping
that it wasn’t amature. Lori recalls, “I accepted the “thank you” invitation from
Simon and he sent me a rough version of the movie and saved it for later. I was
worried! What if it wasn’t good? What would I say? I started to watch it. I
couldn’t believe it! I was so amazed at how beautiful it was! I immediately fell in
love with him from the beauty of his work. I thought, “Who is this person? What
an incredible gift he has. What an absolute amazing vision and cinematic artistry.
Over the years, I have realized that everything Simon does is a work of art. He can
make anything look amazingly beautiful.”
Lori and I married in 2015. Since then, Lori helped me revive my
production company Wondermouse Inc. in order to produce our own content
instead of constantly working for other producers and production companies as a
freelance director of photography, editor, writer or producer. Lori has been
involved in many facets of the business including set design, casting and
producing. The incredible partnership I have with Lori has enabled me to write my
own feature screenplays, shorts and documentary projects. We strive to be humble
in our work and have taken on a multitude of projects both big and small. I still do
occasionally freelance as a director of photography on various projects such as
Heartland 2019, a feature film about the events of Standing Rock and the injustices
of the Dakota Pipeline starring Mariel Hemmingway, Frances Fisher, David
Arquette and William Mapother. Kiss the Ground 2020, A feature documentary on
Netflix narrated by Woody Harrelson about a solution to climate change and
Common Ground 2021, a sequel feature documentary about Indigenous agriculture
and carbon farming, just wrapped principal photography in August 2021.
The common goal of producing narrative feature projects Lori and I have
had is not absent from the realities of making a living for ourselves, hence my
occasional freelance on large productions in various genres. In addition, Lori has
been instrumental in seeking projects that we can produce in our own community.
I never expected that we would find what we have been looking for all along right
in our own backyard.
While working on a community project, Lori was setting up interviews for a
community series our company was hired to produce. She was referred to Buffy
Castillo, a successful business woman in the area who created a wellness center
called the Pharm as a gift to the community. Buffy agreed to be filmed in an
interview for the community project, but ultimately wanted to speak to us about a
documentary project of her own. Buffy explained that she was Native American
(Luiseño) and was interested in producing a documentary about her family after
experiencing an injustice in the tragic death of her mother at the hands of a heroin
addict. Intrigued, we began meeting with Buffy learning about her story. The more
she explained, the more I couldn’t help but soak up the pride she had for her Native
American background and the incorporation and importance of a rooted family
history. Within a few meetings it was clear to me that her story warranted a rich
narrative to be told in a lyrical and poetic fashion. The void I have always felt
about my own history began to allow for personal connections in my own life and
the seed of my own native background began to be nurtured as I peeled back the
layers in her life’s story. Buffy agreed to the narrative approach and I began
writing. Lori would continue to have weekly meetings with Buffy gathering facts
and answering questions in which I would weave together into a rich accounting
followed by a reading and further collaboration. The Lockdown of Covid had a
silver lining in that it allowed us the time to write. Together Lori, Buffy and I
crafted a feature screenplay we titled Buffalo, a name that Buffy's family would
call her. Collectively we created a beautiful screenplay with different individual
goals. For Buffy, her hope is to bring attention to unique Native American voices
that are not just the stereotypical “feathers and arrows”. She will also be donating
all of her proceeds to her Luiseno Tribe. She states, “My people need to be seen
and heard and this is my way of shining a spotlight on the very culture that created
who I am and how I view the world. Ultimately, I would love to see people follow
in my footsteps. Hold onto your culture and share your blessings with your
ancestors." For Lori, it's carrying the lessons and legacy of her father, respecting
and honoring Indigenous peoples in the most meaningful way. For me, it has
opened up a door for me allowing me to connect the dots and find meaning in my
own life and has set me on a journey of discovering my own Native American
heritage. I am so thankful for meeting Buffy who has enriched my life beyond
measure. In her words, “When I met Simon, I learned about his disconnection with
his own Native American ancestry. It was something he was passionate about
learning more about. The discussions and dialogue that we share are causing me to
want to help him grow and learn about our culture. Something that I have always
had knowledge and access to. I have been given a gift. I know that I can not only
help him find HIS way, but other Indigenous people who might be in the same
situation as Simon. I am hoping this film will help me to celebrate the amazing
childhood I experienced with my Native American relatives and also to show other
people who feel lost or disconnected from their people like Simon does. I'm
hoping to bring awareness to the idea that Native Americans are not just in history
books. We are alive and well and living in all facets of life! Yes...some on
reservations...but we are also in all walks of life! Simon, Lori and I have all
realized that we were brought together by outside forces. We think our ancestors
are happily bringing us together. We are believers in things happening for a reason
and we believe in signs.
But most of all, we believe that we can elevate and lift up others with our stories.”